Weekends in Boone and things I've been learning

This weekend has epitimized a classic weekend in Boone for me, and I will definitely miss weekends like this next year after I graduate I think. This morning I slept in a bit, then went to Espresso News with Craven and did some reading out of More than a Carpenter. I've come to enjoy reading and getting coffee at Espresso News more this year than I have in past years. I think part of the reason is because I realized how close it is to the Comm. bulding... but besides that, their coffee, and atmosphere really is better than any other coffee shop in Boone in my opinion. This afternoon I went over to Foster's to watch the Michigan vs. Ohio State game. I decided to pull for Michigan a few minutes before the game, but even though they lost, it was an amazing game that did not dissapoint in light of all the hype around it. Well, tomorrow I'm headed to Banner Elk Christian Fellowship for the first time in probably a month. I've only been there a handful of times this semester because I've been out of town so much on the weekends... whether doing stuff with Crusade, or running half-marathons, or visiting family. But, the Lord has been teaching me a lot recently through a number of different ways about the importance of community in the Christian life(one of which was the recent Boundless article on Christian webcasting, another was a passage out of the book "Serious Times" by the President of Gordon-Conwell, and finally Reggie in his talk at Crusade Thursday when he talked about having a critical spirit). So much of my college career has been me trying to 'work out' my walk with the Lord on my own, in the sense that things that supplement, whether books, or articles, or even podcasts/sermons... those things unfortunately can become the things I rely on most in my walk. And as a result, I think I have begun to see church (or the message on Sundays) in a sense, as merely a supplement to my faith, rather than a foundation for it, and a place, or community to pour myself in to. A verse that has come to mind recently is Galations 6:6, which says, "One who is taught the word must share all good things with the one who teaches." This command implies a response from me towards those who teach, whether on a Sunday morning or Thursday night. And it makes perfect sense, because then we start building a foundation for growth. If I am just consuming, consuming, consuming, truth becomes knowledge, and growth becomes stagnent. So often, I do neglect that response, and am not kept accountable for truths I am being taught... and I like the word accountable there, because we should be held accountable for biblical truth we learn, because scripture does hold utmost authority in our lives, and also because we should be sharing what we learn with those around us. But, just imagine the type of affect it would have in our lives, and in our communities if we started taking Galations 6:6 seriously. Things left unsaid would start being shared. Apathy could be replaced with action... and even awkwardness at church, with sincere care for others. I guess what I'm trying to say is, when my life becomes privatized, individualized, independent of the church, and divorced from authentic relationships that is when I am most prone to falter in a number of different ways. When I don't feel like going to church because I'm feeling ashamed, or guilty, or even apathetic, that is the time I should go, because I need the sharpening and encouragment of fellow believers, as opposed to turning on my ipod and listening to the latest sermon, by the most renowned pastor. In doing that I forget the God has placed me in a wonderful fellowship, for a greater purpose, with ordained leadership, in order to grow closer to Him and impact those around us for Himself through the church.

My editorial article from The Appalachian (Nov. 15, 2005)

Tuesday, 15 November 2005

I recently saw the movie Hotel Rwanda for the first time. I thought the movie was so well made, I decided to watch it two nights in a row.

What I appreciated most about the movie was how real it was. The movie depicts the very real conflict between the Tutsis and the Hutus in a very bloody period in Rwanda during the early 1990s.

Unlike most movies, there was little resolve for me after watching it, because I could not stop thinking that the events I watched, although some probably loosely based, really did happen.

I came away from the movie awestruck, feeling guilty even for how safe I feel here in America, and in my house here in Boone.

I started thinking how my life would be radically different if I had grown up in a place that appeared to completely disregard moral standards and the preciousness of life.

I also came away from the movie feeling as though something had gone completely wrong in the world for atrocities like this to occur, and in varying degrees, occur fairly often.

It seemed to me that somehow things were not always supposed to be this way.

What I mean by this is, what are we to think about the reasons for atrocities such as those depicted in Hotel Rwanda, and what about the constant struggle we all seem to have in staying within the lines of the law, or of moral standards?

Is this struggle merely relative to our surroundings, or upbringing, or is there a natural tendency within each of us to struggle to do what is right?

I believe that we as humans are capable of doing great things, like revolutionizing, and being activists in a society that needs much change.

But whether something so foreign to us as genocide, or something more familiar to us like choosing dishonesty over telling the truth, it seems we continually come up short in producing in ourselves, and in others the type of change that is both continuous and contagious.

In his book “Blue Like Jazz,” author Donald Miller writes, “I think every conscious person, every person who is awake to the functioning principles within his reality, has a moment where he stops blaming the problems in the world on group think, on humanity and authority, and starts to face himself.”

One of my favorite sections of the book is when Miller writes about how after he protested a speech for the president, he realized, “I am the very problem I had been protesting.

I wanted to make a sign that read ‘I am the problem.’”

While I have never been much for rallies or protests, I can honestly relate to Miller’s feeling that beyond problems with policies, legislation, administrations, or politicians, lays a deeper problem within my own heart.

I so often overlook my own shortcomings in loving those around me and constantly pass out excuses and judgment like raffle tickets.

Although I may not commit atrocities in my lifetime like those depicted in Hotel Rwanda, the desire to place myself above others and my failing to treat others the way I want to be treated is nevertheless there.

So in that respect, I am hardly different in matters of the heart with those who committed the heinous crimes in Rwanda.

Miller says in his book, “It is hard for us to admit we have a sin nature because we live in this system of checks and balances. If we get caught, we will be punished.

But that doesn’t make us good people; it only makes us subdued.”

I have come to the point where I know that all the goodwill I can muster up within me to love others better can not produce a change of heart in my own life or in others.

I believe however there is someone who loves me relentlessly, even in my shortcomings, and in that truth my hope is found.


Michael Beahm, a junior journalism major from Greensboro, is a news writer.

(I thought I'd post this on my blog, even though it is from last year... because the only other place it is, is on the archives of The Appalachian newspaper online). Hope everyone has a good weekend. Be thinking of me Sunday morning if you would, as I will be running in the Wilmington half-marathon with my roomates. - MB

13 miles and a battleship

I am now an official participant in the Battleship half-marathon in Wilmington on Sunday, Novemeber 12. While I was a little indicisive these past few weeks about whether I'd be up for another half-marathon (I did the Raleigh half-marathon my Senior year of high school), I finally decided to do it. Andrew, Daniel, and Jacob are the other guys running in it from the Manor, and a few girls we've been friends with since freshman year will also be running in it. I'm getting excited about it finally, and setting out to beat my time senior year, which was 2hrs, 2 minutes. That would be averaging 9 minute miles I think, which shouldn't be too difficult, although I feel like it's harder to run as fast now as I did in high school (something about 2 years of campus meals, some age, and weight I guess), but anyways I won't make excuses. Well, if anyone is interested in running in it (Jenny, if there's anyone you can come back from China for the weekend), you can still sign up by Novemeber 1st. Well, I'm headed to run with Daniel, then I think we are headed camping for the night. Hope everyone has a good fall break.

AP Concert

Tonight one of my collegiate dreams is coming true. No, I am not going on a date with a girl I think I will marry. Nor, am I playing in an Appalachian State basketball game after being drafted by a scout who was running around the indoor track at the rec center and saw me lighting up some three pointers in a pick-up game. Tonight, I am going to see Andrew Peterson and Jill Phillips play a show in Greensboro. Andrew Peterson has been one of my top two favorites artists since entering college - Derek Webb being the other. Although Andrew and I had a difficult first meeting in high school, as I discarded his cd because I didn't like his voice, he grew on me, as I grew in my taste of music in college. So although my dreams of playing competetive basketball, and meeting the girl of my dreams shall wait another day, Andrew, tonight we meet... Well, me in the audience, you on stage... but nevertheless, it's going to be tight.

Bound for Boston

Tomorrow I am headed as far north as I've ever been in the U.S. The next two days I will be taking part in the "Discover" weekend at Gordon Conwell Theological Seminary outside Boston, Mass. I really don't know what to expect, as I've never really had any experience at a Seminary. I went to Southeastern last February for an Apologetics conference, and also went down to Columbia International University in high school to visit. My experience at Southeastern in some ways ignited a passion for me to pursue Seminary, as I sat in on a lecture on worship led by a professor there, and also heard a professor named Bruce Ashford speak a couple times. Anyways, I'm excited about visiting Gordon Conwell, and hope to gain more understanding as to what to look for in seminaries. In a way it's hard to believe these sort of decisions are right around the corner, but on the other hand I'm excited about seeing where God directs my paths. I'm also excited about visiting Boston in general. It seems like a city with a rich culture, a lot based on the history of its location. However, with the Red Sox looking like they won't be in the playoffs this year (actually I think it's impossible for them to get a Wild Card spot at this point), I'm wondering if that will affect the mood of the city. We'll see. This past week at school has been stressful as I had 3 tests this week, but Fall Retreat this past weekend was awesome. I'm really glad I decided to go at the last minute, and it was probably the best Fall Retreat of my 4 years up here. It's hard to distinguish between the different ones, as they all had the common themes of being held at Camp Tapawingo, and all usually consisted of Packy and Jon Bass decked out in camo, and me having run-ins with barbwire during Capture the Flag. This year managed to leave out both of those, but it was made up for by some solid games of volleyball, cornhole, and Mafia, as well as chillen with the fellas late Saturday night, and some incredible experiences that made me feel like some things just aren't about me. What I mean by that in terms of this weekend is first of all cabin time. In leading the discussion time, I asked one question: simply, "What did you all learn from Daron's talk tonight" (Daron by the way was the speaker). For the next 30 minutes, the 13 or so guys in Cabin 3 proceeded to encourage one another with truth God had been teaching them, whether from the talk, or other experiences or reading. It was incredible to see guys being honest with each other, while at the same time sharing truth. That's something I think I've been learning this semester, namely the importance of being honest with my brothers in Christ, like Andrew, Dan, Nate, etc... and then also sharing truth from God's word with each other. Louie Giglio put it really well in a talk I listened to through Itunes from Passion a couple years ago, called "Waking up to the Whole Gospel." This talk is one that stands at the forefront of my mind in terms of radically changing my view of the way the Christian life is lived. Even though I forget how to live it everyday, I am hopeful that I am in the process of waking up, by pressing up and in to the Gospel which changes everything - as Daron put it this weekend. I'll be sure to let ya'll know how Boston is.

- MB

Steady as she Goes

"Steady as She Goes" by Andrew Peterson

I see the thunderheads rise
In the northern sky
And my heart is sinking
In the threatening tide
'cause my portside's heavy
with the worries of life
and the worries of dying
on the starboard side

Well, I wonder, am I really
Stouthearted enough?
'Cause the ocean is rolling
and these waters are rough
There's a storm cloud brewing
In the sky above
So let my vessel be sturdy
Let my anchor be tough

'Cause the clouds are known to gather
and the wind is prone to blow
I'll keep my eyes on the horizon
Not below
And keep her steady as a river
When the wild wind comes to blow
I've already been delivered
So I'll keep her steady as she goes

Well, I shiver in the wake of the raging storm
And my rigging is tattered
And these sails are torn
Gonna cast this cargo overboard
But I ain't setting my headings
For no change in course

Though the clouds are known to gather
And the wind is prone to blow

I'll keep her steady as a river
When the wild wind comes to blow
I've already been delivered
So I'll keep her steady as she goes

So when you can't find the faith to slumber
When you're thrown by every swell
You know that you're not going under
With the captain at the helm

Pursuing God, nothing more, nothing less

Tonight I was reading the best of A.W. Tozer, one my roomates books. I was reading a short chapter called "God must be loved for himself." One of the paragraphs in there hit home for me, so I'll share it. Tozer writes, "Whoever seeks God as a means toward desired ends will not find God. The mighty God, the maker of heaven and earth, will not be one of many treasures, not even the chief of all treasures. He will be all in all or He will be nothing. God will not be used. His mercy and grace are infinite and His patient understanding is beyond measure, but He will not aid men in their selfish striving after personal gain. He will not help men to attain ends which, when attained, usurp the place He by every right should hold in their interest and affection." Later in the chapter, Tozer writes, "If we love God as much as we should, surely we cannot dream of a loved object beyond Him, which He might help us to obtain." These are exciting words for me tonight. It seems to me that if I spent more time actually seeking the heart of God, and less time complaining, wondering, being anxious about things God is clearly sovereign over, I can only imagine how things might change. Another great thought I read recently is by Francis Schaeffer who says, "God is there. Not in here, defined and shaped by my own desires. God is out there. Objective. Absolute reality. All that looks like reality to us is dependent on God. There is a creation and creator, nothing more. And creation gets all its meaning and purpose from God." Those words pierce where I'm at right now, and what I need to hear. They are truths that we can never get past, because as basic as they seem, how can we ever fully get our minds around them. I may be familiar with them, but familiarity doesn't produce deep seeded faith. Only God can produce in me the childlike faith that He desires to put in us. I would write more about these things, but I could not do any justice to the words of Tozer and Schaeffer. It's also getting late, and my roomate is snoring some. So, that's my cue for bed. Also, if anyone has skype, I just got a webcam... so we can chat it up with video for FREE!